Lyle's Day Care and Boot Camp, Uranus Starport - August 11
WAR. War never changes. But at Uranus Station, the crews fighting it are. Thanks to Lyle Honeycutt, owner of Lyle's Day Care and Boot Camp, you might just see a new crew literally toddling off with your cargo! Mr. Honeycutt has started training his charges to become a crack mercenary raiding crew. And some of them can barely walk! "Back when I was watchin' some of my sister's kids, I thought to myself, well shoot, these kids must be good for something," says Lyle. "First I tried gettin' 'em to cook, but they can't make a lunch worth squat. Then I tried sittin' 'em in front of a viewscreen to get 'em outta of the way. But all's they wanted to do was fight with each other. So I figure, what happens when you give 'em sidearms?" That was the 'Aha!' moment that launched a new business for Lyle. "Once I got em shootin' I realized that any three toddlers was as good as two men in a zero-gee raid. And they work for cookies!" Watch out, traders, or you may be seeing one of these raiders out your viewport before too long!
Lyle's Day Care and Boot Camp can be reached on channel 7873.9849/Uranus and he only charges $1/day to watch and train children from the ages of 1-6. "After that, they're old enough to join a crew," claims Lyle.
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