6.8.08

"I Was Impregnated by a Regenabot!"


Ceres Station, August 6th

MALFUNCTIONING Regenabots aren't limited to going rogue and wandering the Belt. Now, they're after our women too! Lucy Knox (pictured below) from the Ceres refugee base says that she was assaulted 7 months ago by a regenabot that had flipped its lid. And her skirt!



"I was just walking home from the coolant distillery when I saw a regenabot. It crossed in front of me and blocked my way," she says. "It said I didn't fit its 'biological template' and told me that I was going to be 'repaired.' Like I'm a ship! Then, it threw me down and then did what it wanted," she sobs. "I passed out, and when I woke up, it was gone. Then I started growing this beard, and now... well, look at me!"

Science correspondents at the WSN headquarters think that the crazy machine might have a corrupted memory unit. "Maybe it once scanned a pregnant woman," says Dr. Wesley Mugabe, PhD, "And then it sustained some type of damage and now thinks that this is the normal state for women." When asked about the beard, Dr. Mugabe says, "That's just freaky. Maybe the 'bot has a fetish!" Lady pirates, if you go anywhere near Ceres: Watch out!

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