RECENTLY the AI Council tried to pass off the sudden appearance of thousands of educated, talented officers as the result of an accident. A drone ship called the Argonaut was involved in a crash in the Outer System, destroying the vessel and scattering its cargo. The result was claimed to be the diaspora of clones said to have been held in its hold. The officers that many Captains across the Solar System have hired are said to be these very clones. The Council declined to explain why anyone would manufacture these clones or what they planned to use them for.
Cloned Chief Entertainment Officers
However, there is reason to believe there is even more to this story than previously thought. Due to what are now being called "regenabot diagnostic errors," many people have woken up from regen cocoons to find themselves changed! When they looked in the mirror, they found their faces to be different from before. Their ability to speak coherently was changed. And some fundamental portions of their identities were altered! When asked what their name was, many could only say, "mopar man."
The hideous form of the mopar men
The Weekly Solar News was lucky enough to score an interview with a self-described "rnopar man" at the height of what is now being called the Mopar Crisis. rnopar man told us, "when I mopared up I mopared at myself in the mirror and I looked like this! i tried to mopar for help but all i could mopar was '1967 Chevrolet!'"
Another victim of this event recalls after the fact, "I woke up and felt weird. When I went to shave, I was shocked. I even remember shouting, 'son of a mopar' I tried to call for my ship's doctor to see if I was hallucinating, but all I could get out was, 'call the mopar i have been mopared and my mopar is mopar! please get me the '37 oldsmobile' No one knew what the heck I was saying."
Witnesses say that that one point there were many distress calls heard throughout the System from captains calling themselves variously mopar man, rnopar man, mopar rnan, mopar woman, and Ovid9. Some even turned on the rest, calling for the death of the "fake" mopar men.
A mopar man seen in Uranus Starport
Luckily, the regenabots solved the Mopar Crisis themselves. As frustration mounted, almost every single one of the mopar men was blasted by annoyed pirates who were tired of the Mopar Crisis. The AI Council claims that it corrected the "diagnosis errors" in its regena-network. When the regenabots repaired the affected humans, the captains and crew who had been afflicted woke up from the regen cocoons as themselves. But the memories of their time as mopar men still haunt them.
A mopar man and mopar woman recorded on Ceres
But questions still remain. How could this happen? Is this related to the cloned officers? Could your officer have been someone else before his current identity? Why would the Council make more mopar men? Why would the regenabots even need the ability to reprogram identities in the first place? What else have they changed? and why cant i shake the feeling that it could mopar again
oh mopar what the mopar am i saying
i wish i was moparing around in a 68 mustang that would be the mopar
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