AI Council Insults Humanity Again!

Juno Courthouse - 2194:18:1*12:30:15 (December 1)

RIOTS have broken out in the few places left in the system where large gatherings can still occur. The AI Council's most recent supreme judiciary ruling has sparked widespread anger among the human population of the System at large.


A Pirate Riot
While still refusing to allow any "unaugmented" humans to serve as Councilors, the Council has been characterized as demonstrating its disdain for those who they have often termed "untrustworthy humans." The new decision reverses the Saturn Starport vs. NuPets ruling of 2176, which held that all engineered organisms examined in that case were the sole property of VicFrank's NuPets, Inc. And this reversal has some of humanity so angry that the Council has been forced to deploy five elite "Mickey Mouse" brigades of cyborg riot troops.


Elite AI Council Riot Suppressors
"We is so angry 'cause some of dem NuPets is now the same as us!" says one protester who wished to remain anonymous. "It's bad 'nuff that we cain't vote, but now we got the same dadgum rights as animals with fancy gene splicing? It's gonna make me join the Sons of Earth!."

The successful prosecution of the case, Dave the Chimp vs. Celebrity Idol News Corp. has made some happy, however, and made an instant multi-millionaire out of new legal person David G. Chimpson, known by his stage name as "Dave the Chimp."


Mr. Chimpson, seen above, was the star of many recent blockbuster movies, including "Where's my banana?" "Jungle Fever" "Lethal Weapon LXVI" and "Hamlet" He now has the right to receive his own pay, rather than have it paid to his former owner, Celebrity Idol Studios. "This is a vindication for all my brothers who have been bred to toil in slavery to humans. But especially for me. Do you know how many bananas I can buy now?" Chimpy Dave also announced plans to produce his own independent film, a remake of the 20th Century epic, "Independence Day" starring himself as the President and a currently unnamed actor in the other main role.

Celebrity Idol stock dipped 10% on the news of the case's outcome this morning.