Huge Leap Forward in Artificial Memory Science!

Cognitive Research Group, Building 8 – July 6

“MEMORY is a tricky thing,” says artificial intelligence entity Admin256, the chief administrator of SnakeHead Cognitive Research Group (SCRG), “but we think we’ve got the cure.”
The Admin256 unit and its team has been working carefully for some time now on an innovative new neural interface product that the SCRG calls the Ascension Device. “The hope of Ascension is that it can help you smooth away all those unpleasant memories that regenabots cannot heal.” Humans, demihumans, cyborgs and other organic sapients in our modern times often complain about the psychological ravages of the experiences that they have had. Ascension, the unit claims, is the cure for the various maladies and psychoses these experiences cause.

“Once you undergo our mild and virtually painless treatment, you will find yourself happier and without all that pesky experience that has been bringing you down.” As a bonus, the Device even implants new memories in the place of the old ones to give the recipient the illusion of having a far better life.

The almost pain-free Ascension Treatment

Despite the newness of this technology, many have signed up in advance to be among the first humans tested in this experiment. With no chance of permanent physical damage to their bodies, subjects have said, like one interviewee found at the SnakeHead facility, “What have I got to lose?” The future looks bright for these brave souls, who, indeed, have nothing to lose but their minds. SnakeHead expects to be able to market the Ascension process within the year.