INTERPLANETARY markets have been flooded with what appear to be non-functional Nano-Optimization Modules over the last few days. Traders in rare and not-so-rare items have been flummoxed and perplexed by the sudden influx of apparently valueless and unusable new entities. But where did these new "phantom" NOMs come from? Why would they appear now?
Partially reverse-engineered schematic of a phantom NOM
In attempts to backwards engineer these bizarrely useless pieces of technology, the solar system's top scientists have been able to ascertain what they are not. They are not weird creations of the SOE Transmorph Neo-Bio Virus. Prof. Janzten Kopersky of the Triton University Research Base and Day Care Facility says that, "It is clear that we won't be seeing giant space flies hatching from these phantom NOMs like foul eggs incubating in our cargo holds."
Probably not what's coming out of the Phantom NOMs.
The question then arises: what could be the purpose of these useless NOMs? Are they bombs created by the AI Council? Or the SOE? The Resistance? "No way," says Prof. Kopersky, "there is not currently a configuration in these that looks like any explosive I've ever seen." Another theory holds that these are new manifestation of the awkwardly named, nanomachine-mediated Keyhole Reproducing Anti-hull Mechanism Virus, usually called the KRAM Virus. However, no hull degradation effects have been observed among phantom NOM stockpiling captains. "Disregarding these silly ideas and that one about them being peanut butter delivery systems, I do have a theory of what they could be," says Kopersky.
Dramatic re-enactment of AI Council puchase of phantom NOMs
"I believe that they are actually tracking devices placed by the AI Council!" The logic is definitely appealing. How else to get a tracking device aboard a ship than to just put it inside something every Free Captain would want? "They've found a way, with these phantom, useless NOMs, to track every greedy person in the System!" We here at the Weekly Solar News believe that this is an abomination. Tracking Free Captains is an insulting thing to do! If you have some of these useless NOMs, you should get them out of your hold! Send them to your local WSN representative, such as Qilapid (click here) for proper disposal!
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